Manha discusses her personal encounter with a non-clinical symptom that is common among those who have borderline personality disorder. She makes reference to how crucial it is to be as honest as you can be about your mental illness and how doing so will speed up your road to recovery. – Manha Ansari
Few individuals are aware of the ailment known as borderline personality disorder (BPD). Sincerity be truth, before a psychologist told me I had indicators of BPD, I had no idea what it was. Although many mental diseases suffer from severe stigma, BPD is particularly misunderstood and mistreated.
I can speak from personal experience when I say that having a “favorite person” is a typical BPD sign (FP). Some BPD patients may quickly name their borderline personality favorite person/(A BPDs Favourite Person) and even recall how they came to feel attached to them. When my relationship with my favorite person ended, I finally understood that I had a favorite person. Only then did I realize that my feelings for him weren’t altogether normal.
An FP can differ from person to person; in my early years, my mother was my FP. I suffered with being far away from her for years. My anxiety would get worse every time I had to leave her to go to school, events, or sleepovers.My social activities and contacts were severely curtailed by my severe anxiety and panic attacks.
I met someone when I first started college and we were great friends. My FP changed because I wasn’t seeing my mother every day and no longer did. I fell in love with this new FP when I first started college. He was a wonderful person, despite the fact that I may have frequently said otherwise. He was there for me when my mental illness was at its worst, supporting me through phases that not even my mother and sisters had yet gone through.
Someone with BPD sees a bond between themselves and their FP or borderline personality disorder favourite person as something that can never be shattered. This person you idolize is the center of all you think about and do. You feel they are the only person who can make you happy, and you emotionally rely greatly on them. This can be taxing for FPs, but it can be just as draining for someone with BPD who is experiencing this reliance.
It is only now that I am aware of the risk that this relationship poses to both FP and BPD patients. My FP eventually ran out of energy. My condition made it clear that I was a tough guy to adore.
When my FP wasn’t by my side all the time, I became quite anxious, which made my panic episodes more frequent. This was challenging for my FP to handle. My worries that my FP might eventually go were eventually realized. Without my FP by my side all the time, I felt as though my existence had no value and no purpose. Unfortunately, this destruction resulted in a situation where my life was in danger.
Fortunately, I recognized that I needed assistance and could start the road to recovery.
I think it’s crucial to emphasize that my FP might have been anyone with whom I had a personal connection. I didn’t have to fall head over heels for my FP.
Being in love and feeling attached to an FP are very different emotions. However, when they take place at the same time, partnerships become challenging. We didn’t have the awareness or comprehension of my sickness that would have allowed our relationship to work.
He was the one who gave up on me, and I despised him for it for a very long time. As soon as our relationship ended, it was difficult for me to accept my mental illness while also grieving the loss of my FP and getting over the heartache of a breakup.
Even though I may not always want to admit it, I will always be grateful for his presence in my life—good and bad—despite the fact that we no longer maintain any kind of regular contact. Despite the fact that what I had to go through at the time was anything but pleasant, I am thankful for the experience since it has made me more aware of what my mind is capable of.
It’s crucial to express your gratitude to everyone in your life, but especially to those who support you during your hardest moments. I’ve grown to trust more people with my heart than just one individual.When people won’t support you at your lowest point in your mental health, learn not to be sad. It serves as evidence of their weakness, not as a judgment on your character flaws. Sadly, those who have not stayed with me won’t get to experience this. I am currently the strongest and happy I have ever been.
(Hello, my name is Erin, and I’m in my final year of study at the University of the Arts in London for Design Management. Since I was ten years old, my mental health has been a struggle. Although my diagnosis for depression, anxiety, autism, bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder are still under investigation,
What to Know About a Relationship with a BPD “Favorite Person”
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) patients frequently alternate between elevating and demeaning others.
In the “favorite person” scenario, the BPD sufferer favors one person and desires to spend all of their time with them. Unfortunately, anger and the fear of abandonment are frequently provoked if that person is busy—or if disagreement arises.)
Who Is a favourite person BPD?
The favorite person is seen as the most significant person in the life of a person with BPD. Anybody might be this person, but it’s frequently a significant other, a member of the family, a close friend, or another encouraging individual (like a coach, therapist, or teacher).This person can end up being the source of all joy and approval (potentially leading to relationship burnout for the other partner). The quality of the connection can surely affect the mood, confidence, and sense of security of the person with BPD, who craves as much attention from their favorite person as possible.
How Can Someone Who Has BPD Be Influenced by a Favorite Person?
A favored person may initially appear to be a “savior” for the BPD sufferer. They will naturally idolize this person because they frequently think of them as being ideal. Because of this, they frequently miss each other terribly while they are apart and may experience euphoria when they are together.
The partnership could, however, also turn stormy. Because the person with BPD depends so heavily on their favorite person for love and attention, any small offense might make them feel unstable or angry.
What Usually Happens in a BPD Favorite Person Relationship?
Frequently, it seems that the relationship is really intense and close. A person with BPD may quickly depend on their favorite person for support, validation, and direction. People with BPD may struggle when faced with healthy relationship restrictions because they frequently feel insecure (and unreliable) in their relationships. They frequently battle with loneliness, yet even loving and meaningful connections might not feel like enough.
They might therefore “read into” particular behaviour. They might start to feel possessive or envious of other partnerships. To demonstrate their favorite person’s loyalty and affection, they could also start pushing them away or putting them to the test.
The BPD Relationship Cycle: An Understanding
Like every love partnership, many BPD relationships go through a cycle that starts with the honeymoon stage. When someone with BPD finds someone who seems to be able to alleviate their anguish and loneliness, they may feel delighted and energised. This enthusiasm perfectly captures the idealization stage.
Unfortunately, because persons with BPD have a weak sense of self, relational cracks feel very dangerous. It can be devastating when their favorite person disappoints them. They might lash out, make threats, or completely shut off.