How to not Have a Favorite Person BPD?

Having a favorite person (FP), or someone you idealize and depend on for emotional support, may be a symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD). Nevertheless, this intense attachment may also result in worry, dread of being left, and an unwholesome reliance on your FP. I’ll discuss How to Stop Having a Favorite Person with BPD in this article to lessen the detrimental effects it has on your life.

Understanding FP Attachment in BPD

BPD is frequently characterized by attachment to a favored individual, which can happen in a romantic, platonic, or family connection. People with BPD may have a high craving for approval and affirmation from their preferred person (FP). When their FP is unavailable or shows disapproval of them, they may experience severe distress. Due to the possibility that your sense of self will become entangled with how your significant other sees you, this attachment may also cause instability in your perspective of yourself.

Recognizing the Negative Effects of FP Attachment

Although having a strong emotional bond with someone is not always bad, having an FP attachment might have negative consequences. It is likely that you could come to heavily rely on your FP to control your emotions and struggle to do so when they are not there. Suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and depression may result from these symptoms. Additionally, having a bad or unstable doctor-patient connection might make it harder to control your emotions and exacerbate BPD symptoms.

Here are a few detrimental outcomes that may result from a BPD patient who has a favorite person:

How to not Have a Favorite Person BPD: Codependency

People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may show excessive dependence on their favorite person, disregarding their own needs and prioritizing those of their preferred person over all other considerations. This might lead to a dysfunctional and unbalanced relationship dynamic.

How to Avoid Having a Favorite Person in BPD: Breaking Free from Codependency

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex mental health condition that can have a profound impact on both the individuals who live with it and their relationships. One challenging aspect of BPD is the phenomenon known as having a “favorite person.” In this blog post, we’ll explore what having a favorite person means, its connection to codependency, and provide strategies to break free from this unhealthy dynamic.

Understanding Codependency:

Codependency is a behavioral pattern in which one person excessively relies on another for emotional support, validation, and a sense of self-worth. It often involves enabling, sacrificing one’s own needs for the sake of the other person, and experiencing an intense fear of abandonment. Codependency can manifest in various types of relationships, including romantic, family, and friendships.

READ MORE : How To Stop Having A Favorite Person BPD

Stats on Codependency:

  1. According to Mental Health America, an estimated 20-25% of the U.S. population exhibits codependent traits.
  2. Codependency often co-occurs with other mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse disorders.
  3. Studies have shown that codependency is more common in individuals with a history of trauma or dysfunctional family backgrounds.
  4. Codependency is not exclusive to any gender; both men and women can experience codependent behaviors.

The Connection Between BPD and Codependency:

For individuals with BPD, having a “favorite person” can be an expression of codependency. It often arises from an intense fear of abandonment and a desperate need for external validation. This dynamic can lead to unstable relationships, emotional turmoil, and personal distress for both parties involved. To break free from this pattern, consider the following strategies:

  1. Therapy and Support: Seek professional help, such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) or Schema Therapy, to address the underlying issues related to BPD and codependency. Therapists can provide tools and coping strategies to manage emotional intensity and create healthier relationships.

  2. Self-Awareness: Recognize your codependent behaviors and thought patterns. Self-awareness is the first step towards change. Keep a journal to document your feelings, triggers, and relationship dynamics.

  3. Setting Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries in your relationships. Communicate your needs and limits with your loved ones. Healthy boundaries are essential for maintaining a balanced and respectful connection.

  4. Self-Care: Prioritize self-care activities that nurture your well-being, such as exercise, meditation, and spending time with supportive friends. Taking care of yourself is not selfish but necessary for a healthy relationship.

  5. Support Groups: Consider joining a support group for individuals dealing with codependency. Sharing your experiences and learning from others can be empowering and reassuring.

How to not Have a Favorite Person BPD?: Breaking free from the “favorite person” dynamic in BPD and codependency can be a challenging but crucial step towards healthier, more balanced relationships. By understanding the connection between these two phenomena and implementing the strategies mentioned above, individuals can embark on a journey towards greater self-awareness, self-worth, and healthier connections with others. Remember that seeking professional help and building a support network is essential in this process.

How to Avoid Having a Favorite Person in BPD: Managing Severe Abandonment Anxiety

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is characterized by intense emotional experiences, impulsivity, and difficulties in maintaining stable relationships. One of the challenging aspects of BPD is the development of a “favorite person,” an individual on whom the person with BPD becomes emotionally reliant. This emotional dependency is often rooted in severe abandonment anxiety.

In this blog post, we’ll delve into what severe abandonment anxiety is, its connection to having a favorite person in BPD, and strategies to manage this complex aspect of the disorder.

Understanding Severe Abandonment Anxiety:

Severe abandonment anxiety is a heightened and overwhelming fear of being rejected, abandoned, or left alone. This anxiety is not exclusive to individuals with BPD but is frequently a central feature of the disorder. It can manifest as extreme emotional reactions, frantic efforts to avoid real or perceived abandonment, and a constant need for reassurance and validation.

Stats on Severe Abandonment Anxiety: How to not Have a Favorite Person BPD?

  1. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, BPD affects approximately 1.4% of the adult population in the United States.
  2. A study published in the Journal of Personality Disorders found that individuals with BPD are more likely to experience intense fear of abandonment than those without the disorder.
  3. The Journal of Clinical Psychology reports that up to 73% of individuals diagnosed with BPD have a history of childhood trauma, which can contribute to the development of severe abandonment anxiety.

The Connection Between BPD and Severe Abandonment Anxiety:

Severe abandonment anxiety often plays a significant role in the development of a “favorite person” in BPD. Individuals with BPD may become excessively reliant on someone as a means to alleviate their intense fear of abandonment. This dynamic can be overwhelming for both parties and can lead to unstable relationships, emotional turmoil, and personal distress.

Strategies to Manage Severe Abandonment Anxiety:

  1. Therapy: Seek professional help, such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), or Schema Therapy, to address severe abandonment anxiety. Therapists can help individuals learn to manage their fear of abandonment and develop more stable and secure attachments.

  2. Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation: Practice mindfulness techniques to become more aware of your emotional responses. Learning to regulate intense emotions can help reduce the need for constant reassurance and validation.

  3. Develop a Support Network: Build a support system of friends and family who can offer understanding and emotional support. Having a network of people who care can alleviate the fear of abandonment.

  4. Self-Validation: Work on validating your own feelings and self-worth. Understand that you do not need external validation to be valuable and loved.

  5. Healthy Boundaries: Establish and communicate healthy boundaries in your relationships. This can help create a sense of security and predictability, reducing the fear of abandonment.

Managing severe abandonment anxiety in BPD is a challenging but essential step in avoiding the development of a “favorite person.” By understanding the connection between BPD and abandonment anxiety and implementing the strategies mentioned above, individuals can work towards healthier, more balanced relationships and a greater sense of emotional stability. Seeking professional help and building a strong support network are crucial components of this journey. Remember that managing severe abandonment anxiety is a process, and progress may take time.

How to Avoid Having a Favorite Person in BPD: Managing “Splitting”

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can bring challenges in forming and maintaining stable relationships due to emotional intensity and a phenomenon known as “splitting.” In this blog post, we’ll explore what “splitting” is, its connection to having a favorite person in BPD, and provide strategies to manage and avoid this pattern in order to foster healthier relationships.

Understanding “Splitting”:

“Splitting” is a defense mechanism that individuals with BPD often employ, characterized by seeing people and situations in black-and-white terms, as all good or all bad. This extreme thinking can lead to volatile relationships where someone is idealized as a favorite person one moment and then devalued in the next. The switch between these extreme views can be abrupt and distressing for all involved.

Stats on “Splitting”:

  1. A study published in the Journal of Personality Disorders found that up to 75% of individuals with BPD reported a history of splitting behavior.
  2. Research by the National Institute of Mental Health suggests that “splitting” can contribute to relationship instability and emotional distress for those with BPD.
  3. The same study reported that individuals with BPD who engage in splitting are more likely to experience interpersonal conflicts and have difficulty maintaining long-term relationships.

The Connection Between BPD and “Splitting”:

“Splitting” often underlies the development of a favorite person in BPD. An individual with BPD may excessively idealize someone, becoming emotionally reliant on them, only to abruptly shift to devaluation when conflicts or perceived flaws arise. This pattern can lead to instability and emotional turmoil in relationships.

Strategies to Manage “Splitting”:

  1. Therapy: Seek professional help, such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), designed to address “splitting” and its impact on relationships. Therapists can provide tools to recognize and regulate these intense emotional shifts.

  2. Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques to become more aware of your emotional reactions and thought patterns. This can help you pause before reacting in extreme ways and foster a more balanced perspective.

  3. Effective Communication: Improve your communication skills to express your emotions and concerns in a healthy and constructive manner. Clear and open communication can reduce misunderstandings and conflicts.

  4. Emotion Regulation: Work on regulating your emotions and coping with distress. Develop skills to manage intense feelings and reduce impulsive behaviors.

  5. Self-Reflection: Reflect on your own values and preferences. Recognize that people, like situations, are not purely good or bad. Consider the gray areas and the complexities that make individuals unique.

Managing “splitting” in BPD is essential to avoid having a favorite person and foster more stable and balanced relationships. By understanding the connection between BPD and “splitting” and implementing the strategies mentioned above, individuals can work towards healthier, more harmonious relationships and emotional stability. Professional help, mindfulness, and effective communication are crucial elements in this journey. Remember that change may take time, and progress is achievable with dedication and support.

Emotional Instability

An individual with BPD may experience more frequent and severe mood swings as a result of an excessive attachment to a favorite person.

A feeling of envy and possession

People with BPD may act in a controlling manner and have stressful relationships as a result of their jealously and possessiveness toward their favorite person.

It’s crucial to remember that having a favorite person is not necessarily bad or detrimental, but it might cause issues when these negative consequences occur. Receiving therapy and BPD treatment can help people develop coping mechanisms to deal with their strong attachments and emotions in more advantageous ways.

Techniques for Lowering FP Attachment

Although it might be difficult, cutting back on your FP attachment is a crucial step in treating your BPD symptoms and enhancing your quality of life. Here are some tactics to take into account:

Develop mindfulness

Your awareness of your thoughts and emotions can be improved with the help of mindfulness, allowing you to simply observe them. This can be especially beneficial if the patient is going through a lot of emotional turmoil because of their FP attachment. Please make an effort to stay in the present moment and focus on your breathing or the surroundings.

Create a Support System

While it seems sense to turn to a close friend or member of your family for assistance, it can be stressful for both of you to rely completely on your doctor. Increasing your network of support can make you feel more secure and less dependent on your primary care provider. I advise you to think about joining a support group or seeing a therapist.

Engage in Self-Care

I advise patients who have BPD to practice self-care in order to control their symptoms and lessen their FP connection. It is advised that you take part in things that make you happy and give you a sense of fulfillment, such as reading, exercising, or spending quality time with your pets. Please keep in mind to put your needs and boundaries first.

Dispute negative ideas

Emotional regulation might be hampered and FP attachment can be exacerbated by negative ideas and attitudes about yourself or your FP. It’s crucial for doctors to refute these ideas with evidence-based reasoning and take into account alternative viewpoints.


Having a patient with BPD can be both reassuring and upsetting for a doctor. As a physician, it’s critical to recognize the negative impacts of developing strong FP attachments and put management strategies in place. You can lessen your reliance on your FP and enhance your general wellbeing by engaging in self-care, creating a support system, practicing mindfulness, and challenging negative ideas.

Possible FAQs about How to Stop Having a Favorite Person with BPD:

In BPD, what does a “favorite person” mean?

A “favorite person” is someone with whom a BPD sufferer has an intense and erratic relationship, frequently motivated by a need for approval and a fear of abandonment.

Can a person with BPD and a stable relationship coexist?

Yes, it is possible to have a healthy relationship with a person who has BPD, but it requires work and compassion from both parties.

Is BPD curable?

BPD cannot be cured, but with the right care and support, it is possible to manage the symptoms and live a full life.

Do BPD medicines have any therapeutic benefit?

Although there are no drugs made particularly for BPD, various drugs used to treat disorders like depression or anxiety may help with symptom management.

We believe our explanation of “How to Stop Having a Favorite Person with BPD in 2023” has provided you with the response you were looking for. Simply leave a comment below if you have any additional queries, and we’ll do all in our power to assist you.

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